I feel like my life is becoming so recycled, to the point where I just feel like things don't really matter anymore. I feel like I don't have any substance anymore, it's no wonder I always feel so alone, who wants to be around someone like this, I just feel tired by it all.
A part of me, actually probably more, I just don't want to alarm people, just wants to give up. I honestly thought I was put on this earth to be doing something positive for others, yet I can't even get out of my own way. One week after the next, it's always the same thing.
Today I did my weigh in for my YouTube account, how rediculous am I? Do I really think I'll be thin again. I mean honestly, I have zero self control when it comes to food. I used to be good at restricting, I used to be good at not eating as much, but lately, it has all been different.
I wish someone out there could help me, help me with the things I can't understand anymore. I can't label them because I don't even know what they are. I do know its removed the old me with someone who just doesn't care anymore, someone who'd rather just ball up in a corner.